FB ARGH

Facebook pissed me off by refusing to upload my photos. YOU THINK YOU'RE SO GREAT ARE YOU WITH 600 MILLION USERS?? !@#$%^&* urgh.

Fifth time's the charm

It is simply not possible not to blog about one of the most unlucky days of my life. In just one sense, though.

I've finally mastered the art of self-inflicted harm. I'm not talking about self-mutilation or suicide, but the ever so popular accidents that those who know me associate me with.

You can let out the breath you've been holding now; I haven't sprained my left ankle again.

After tripping on my way to the classroom whilst on the stairs, let's fastforward to when I went to a restaurant for dinner where I walked straight into a bunch of tables and chairs. Then on the way back to the school while crossing the overhead bridge, I tripped on the stairs again and I think juniors behind me laughed rather blatantly. Next, while I was getting the lighter to light some candles for a dancer's birthday, I slipped and fell directly on my ass, which is still stinging from the pain right this very minute by the way.

To add the icing on the cake, M dripped hot, burning wax on me to finish off my day.

I'm pretty sure you have other days where you can totally top me, but today, I'm taking the trophy home with me.

It's one of those 'Some days'.

Some days, I feel the strangest and strongest pull to be connected to you, it doesn't matter how or where or why, all I know is that I need to be near you and I need you to need me too. Sometimes, I would act on the impulse and initiate contact; in today's modern world, it's neither difficult nor inconvenient, and all I have to do is type some random comment and press send. Maybe you'd take a while to reply, or if I was lucky, you'd be missing me too and we'd be off on our meaningless conversation that makes life meaningful just because it's you and me doing the talking. On these occasions, I would cheer up considerably and smile for the rest of the day until something else comes along and douse my happy cloud. Other times, I would resist the urge and suffer in my own misery, silently missing you whilst putting up a front that only makes the people around me ask what was wrong with me. I would wait and wait and wait for some sign from you, maybe an SMS to tell me the horrible day you had, the latest person you kissed and told, or the numerous people who have pissed you off. And when I don't hear from you, I fret and worry, because I have problems and you have problems and because we haven't seen each other for such a long time, I don't want to tell you my problems and vice versa because time spent talking to each other is already so precious and far and few in between and we just want to make it as lighthearted and jocund as possible. But as we continue to hide and cover our pain and sadness, we only drift further and further apart because I don't know you anymore because I don't know what's making you tick and what you're thinking about and everything we talk about becomes all the more superficial. I don't know how you may have changed, I no longer know how you interact with your environment and I don't know why you're smiling when I know you're cringing inside. Time is never on our side, and with us living so far apart, neither of us want the other to go through the pains of traveling all the way here or all the way there because in Junior College it's a fucking waste of time which we could have used to study, even though the time that we 'saved' is never used to study, merely to spend more time interacting with acquaintances that are unimportant and uninteresting but are the people whom we see every single day. And if you have followed every line of this irritatingly long paragraph, you know you're the one that I miss and you know you're the one I regret slowly slipping from my grasp. It's not going to get better. The corporate world leaves no room for budding friendships and even lesser space for developing ours. And as the space between us grow from East and Central Singapore to Singapore and other countries, you know that we'll barely see and even rarer talk to each other anymore. But what I want to convey to you and ENSURE that you know is, wherever our friendship/relationship was left off in Secondary school, it's still there in my heart and I will never feel the awkwardness of a stranger when I'm with you again, even if we won't have had met or talked or SMSed or know about the most recent updates about each other. I want you to know that even up to now, I still think about you, imagine about your life and want to know what you've been up to and wish the best for you, as much as I sound like a Grade A stalker. Do drop a reply, it could be 'HAHA' or 'yeah' or even just a 'hey', because sometimes, I am a weak human being both mentally and psychologically and I NEED your reassurance of your presence in my life, because guess what, I still, after so long, depend on you to feel alive.

The Best of the Best of THE BEST.

I keep telling myself I don't have to be the best. I don't even have to aim for the best. Because, somehow, deep down in my heart, I know I will never be the best. Too normal, too average, too whatever.

But somewhere in the corners of my mind, there's always this voice saying 'What if'. What if you were meant to be better than this? You could be better than this? What if you were simply too lazy? Undetermined?

I could have.

I could have.

I could have.

And if all this sets me up for a major letdown, I think that's it. That's it for me. For this life. I don't know if I can ever overcome this hurdle if I come to it.

Expect the worse and hope for the best. Maybe then, I can have something to hold on to, however thin, however small. However painful.

Lighter Weight

After suffocating under the onslaught of negative emotions and burying myself in studies in an attempt to elude it, I finally feel like I have dug my way out from under the dirt. The weight of wallowing in self-pity was lightened out of the blue, and I left for home with a featherlight heart compared to how I went to school in the morning. What added on to my amusement was that a couple were acting very intimately, absolutely fawning over each other. Then when I turned my head to gauge the reaction of the stranger sitting next to me, the elderly woman looked at me as though I was responsible to stop the fifteen-year-olds from excessive public displays of affection. Lol.

Even though I feel considerably more lighthearted, I'm still plagued with worries. Such is the woe of life; whether in joy or grief, it is never fully this nor that.

Just Because

When you run, I'll walk behind you, just in case.

VJC Motto

VJC's motto: Outstanding, Outperforming, and OUTSMARTING.

"Oh and for those 'salesperson aspiring students' out there, try selling the VJC-JUMBO vouchers to the HP guys! It would be the ULTIMATE achievement for being able to sell something to a salesperson successfully is akin to robbing a robber, coaching a coach, cooking for a chef etc. you get the idea. Can you imagine, instead of selling HP Mini-Notes, they end up buying tons of VJC-JUMBO vouchers?"

This TOTALLY made my day.

Valentine Specials

Sick of getting the usual sweet and/or chocolatey confectioneries? Tired of gaining calories during V day? Wary of eating all the sweet stuff you got for lunch (actually, it's probably just me)?

Here are some of the most interesting and creative things I got:

-Whisper sanitary pad.
-Interlocking cards (those are awesome!)
-Shiny paper (I like all things shiny...)

*pause*

Moving on to a more sombre post-V day.

13-year-old boy from England got his 15-year-old girlfriend pregnant, and the little baby girl's already out and kicking!

Goosebumps, anyone?

*another pause*

This made the headlines on the bottom of the first page in Lian He Zao Bao: BEWARE OF LIFE INCOME PLAN. You may not live as long as you think.

And heed its advice, for it may not be allowed to publish again.

:)

Thank you for letting me know I haven't let you down.

In a way, you showed me that I didn't let myself down either.

And through the half-hearted jokes about the underlying reasons, it cheered me up, even though I know not all of it is true. It disappoints yet enlightens at the same time.

I am not happy, but as always, you manage to break through my shell and read my face like an open book.

You killed yourself by diminishing the glint of hope in my eye.

Thank you so very much.

To my parents.

The Curse of Waiting

现在，也只有等待了...

是否有种非常无奈的感觉啊？

4K'08 BBQ at NSRCC

This is probably one of the few times I'm gonna regret not staying over during a class chalet. If it weren't for the flight tomorrow I wouldn't be whining about how I'm missing out on the modern and sleek chalet, the clean and comfortable environment, and of course, a night with no sleeping! The state-of-the-art equipments ready for use at our demand (be it tennis, pool, karaoke, bowling center, playground), the swimming pool that meanders and curve to form a lovely 'S' design, what's not to like?

But since I'm just as hyped about returning to Taiwan for Chinese New Year as I am about staying over, I can't really complain. Life sucks when you can't have it both ways.

I had a surprisingly good appetite this evening. It could be due to the fact that I arrived at 5, trying to catch the 5 o'clock shuttle bus to NSRCC, but completely missed it because I was at the wrong side of the road. That was so sad.

I was a little pissed off, and sounded so when Fiona returned my call, but at least I got my temper under control again. I hope she doesn't hold the grudge.

Luckily, a stream of people steadily arrived as the time inched nearer to 1730, so at least I had some company. It was great to catch Yihao first when he got off the bus. And it got better as we finally gathered as a group and started chatting and updating each other. Who's going where, whatnot. I was pretty surprised to find many aiming for TJC. And was pretty humoured by Eugene's nonsensical nonsense.

By the way, my dearest Siyun, your eye did not appear to have suffered at all! (But who am I to say, since we've been apart for more than 24 hours...)

Upon reaching the chalet I was ecstatic to find the pit fired up and cooking. Chicken, hotdogs, Taiwanese sausages (Yihao went, "Taiwanese girl holding Taiwanese sausage." LOL), fishballs and SATAY! I couldn't wait to eat the satay, but apparently, the fire wasn't big enough. :S

And I've finally learned the arts of mahjong! Jervis showed me the ropes, and seriously, the alternating between Chinese, English and Hokkien had my mind reeling. But still, it's a start.

The next event of interest was Rachel Yeo's adamant demand of playing Ice-and-Water. O.O It was good to sweat it out -- running all over the playground and all, too bad it ended with a sprained ankle. Though I would happily announce: NOT me, it doesn't help the other party at all. Eunice get well soon! Ah, Ehren, you mighta help a bit. ^^ (all in good fun, don't sue me)

After I gulped down some satay (FINALLY!), Siyun and I headed to the tennis court, under the lead of Rachel Y who was in need of a ride home. (No lah, she actually wanted to find out the time the last bus leaves.) And who goes into the tennis court but doesn't play tennis?

My right arm really hurt, so I didn't dare take the risk and serve. I left that to poor Siyun (first time on court?) and just chased after the balls sent whooshing my way. I didn't do too bad, but I definitely wouldn't last two seconds in Wimbledon.

After that, it was -- amazingly -- time to go home. Parents were already waiting at the gate at 2209. Aw. I was reluctant, but I had to go. I have angbaos to receive. ;)

Thanks to Vivi who did most of the cooking! And had endless patience with us, who kept scrambling for food but didn't budge an inch when we were supposed to help. >.<

Thanks to MinLe, YangPeng, ShiXuan, Yihao, PohChun, ah.. the guys for doing a lot of cooking!

Thanks to Fiona, who booked such a lovely place! (I think.)

Thanks to PohChun/Leeying for bringing us together.

Thanks to all who attended and just seeing you guys made my day (despite we didn't talk and all, but the vision works!).

And it's too late for me to continue, unless I wanna miss my flight tomorrow.

Not happening. :P